Sadly I was unable to attend last night’s game at the Rogers Centre between the Jays and Rays. I guess it actually turned out to be a blessing, because I was sitting on my couch when Kevin Gregg imploded in the ninth, watching it on TV instead of in the 500 Level. That meant I had instant and arm’s length access to beer, wine, scotch, rye, vodka, and tequila, all of which helped me to forget the disaster I had just seen.
But luckily for me, a few 500 Level Fan scouts were out in the upper deck last night. Showing what a true company man I am, the scouts paid their own way in, and will continue to receive no compensation. But great job gentlemen!
And now, in their own words, I present their scouting report. Tbe first ever scouted 500 Level Fan of the Game – The (very) Underage Drinker!
“As promised, here is the 15 year old beer saving drunkard.
In the third inning we flagged down the beer man for a few tall boys. As he stood there preparing our frosty delights, suddenly the clearly underage kid in front of us confidently requested not one but TWO Keith’s.
It was a classic moment as he looked no more than 15 and the kid next to him looked 11 at most. Equally classic was the utter look of confusion or general befuddlement on the face of the beer man. He clearly could not figure out if he was hearing things or whether he was being made the butt of some punk kid’s joke.
So, the beer man carried on and provided two beers to the cougars a few rows up. At that time, the kid called out again for his beers at which point the beer man had no choice but to comply.
He took the kids ID and astonishingly rewarded him with two beers, one for him and one for the girl next to him (to this point we hadn’t noticed the girl as we were too in shock that the ID was good).
Clearly satisfied the kid began to enjoy his beer…but I noticed in the top of the 8th that he still hadn’t finished it. He was stretching out the last few sips.
Overall, the 15 year old beer saving drunkard was confusing, impressive, and lame all at the same time. An enigma such as this could only be found in the skyward confines of the 500 level.”
Congratulations Underage Drinker for being named fan of the game, and thanks very much to the 500 Level Fan scouts. same sites expired domains . expiration of domains . apache web server website offline . link checker