500 Level Fan of the Game – June 6th, 2010

Shirtless High-Fiver - seen here trying to steal the belongings of a Yankee fan


Despite the Jays blowing a 2-0 lead in the 8th inning and ruining a Brandon Morrow gem, and despite the fact that the dome was closed even though the sun was shining and it was over 20 degrees in Toronto, it was a great day at the ballgame.  Whenever the Yankees are in town there is always a big boost in attendance and this weekend was no exception.  Over 100,000 fans came out for the series, including 33,622 for the Sunday finale.

For the Jays the spike in attendance is good news, but for me it’s great news.  The greater the number of people in the 500 Level, the greater the chance of finding some classic fans.

And there were classic fans aplenty yesterday afternoon, including:

– Four Yankees fans who found great joy in standing up and pointing to their jerseys like arrogant, cocky morons. 

– A group of about 25 drunk women directly behind us who found great joy in standing up and heckling the Yankee fans by yelling things like “Go back to Buffalo,” or “You’re fat and ugly,” or “Sit the f#$% down!” 

– A woman referred to as the “Yankee Whale”, who stayed silent until the Yankees took the lead in the 8th, then proceeded to give a thumbs up to everybody around her, with enormous amounts of back, underarm, and belly blubber rippling.  And she had no teeth.

But there was one fan who was far more entertaining than the rest.  Wearing a pair of jeans and a Jays cap, with his jersey draped over his arm, he wandered up and down the aisle high-fiving everybody in sight.  He yelled – a lot and extremely loud.  And he was drunk.  Blind drunk.  Speech impeding, vision blurring, balance impacting drunk.  Ladies and gentlemen, the 500 Level Fan of the Game goes to the Shirtless High-Fiver.

Upon arrival we sat in our actual assigned seats – section 535 row 2.  However, two innings was enough to show that we needed to move, so up we went…..way up to the 23rd row.  It was there that we met the fan of the game.

He was shirtless and he was absolutely killed by the 3rd inning.  He was trying to drum up some fan support by walking up and down the aisle and high-fiving/talking to random people.  But the response he got back was minimal, likely because nobody could understand what he was saying.  “Cccommmnme oahhon, eveyyrrryoannne!!  Boobooobbbbooo Yankseesse, go Jahajays.” (For my translation of some of his comments please refer to the Quotes from the game.)

He hated Yankee fans, losing his composure mutliple times when they would make noise.  When a poor girl wearing a Yankee’s cap was trying to read a Blue Jays schedule, he ripped it out of her hands, slurring “that’s what you get Yankee” in a drunken-version of English.

Shirtless High-Fiver - note the security guard in the bottom left

What made this guy even more interesting was the fact that starting in the fourth inning he had between one and three security personnel watching him AT ALL TIMES!!!  Every step, every shout, every shirt twirl was instantly greeted with six eyes glaring sharply at him. 

Finally in the 7th inning they pounced.  Three members of the high powered Rogers Centre security team, clad in fluorescent green shirts, marched up to the High-Fiver and demanded he leave with them immediately.  At his feet were about four empty cans of Moosehead, which proved how big of an idiot he actually was.  He somehow managed to get them into the game.  Good start.  He somehow managed to drink four tall-boys without getting caught.  Great.  But then he leaves the empty cans on the ground?  Why not put them back in the bag you brought in?  What a fool.

Anyways, this is where the game got even more exciting.  He refused to leave.  He refused to look at security.  He refused to aknowledge what they said, or the fact that they even existed.  A classic move.  I don’t know what was better – the fact that he did that, or the fact that the security people had no idea what to do about it.  Unfortunately for the High-Fiver, the police officer that came up afterwards wasn’t as stupid or clueless. 

So just like that he was gone, lead down the stairs and into the concourse by four men.  He left to the cheers of many, Yankee and Blue Jay fans alike. 

He might have left a big hole in section 535 for the rest of the game, but he will forever be immortalized here.  Congratulations Shirtless High-Fiver, FLF of the game. same sites expired domains . apache web server website offline link checker .

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