500 Level Fan of the Game – September 22nd, 2010

It figures that the day I post an article about how bad Seattle is, and how atrocious their hitting is, the Mariners blast four home runs and beat the Jays 6-3.

There really wasn’t much to hold the crowd’s attention.  The Jays never really threatened the entire night.  Kyle Drabek really didn’t pitch all that poorly, but another, seemingly nightly, Brian “Billy” Tallet poor inning allowed Seattle to run and hide.

In fact, unless you were a Mariners fan, the game wasn’t necessarily worth attending.  The seemingly thousands of Japanese in attendance had a special thrill during each Ichiro at-bat, and were justly rewarded with a single giving him 198 hits on the season.  Jose Lopez hit three home runs to give the Mariners their third double-digit HR total.  And that was it.

While we did our best to stay positive and focused on the game, a man one section over from us completely tuned out.  While we cheered for whatever event we could, he was indifferent.  He had a beautiful, golden mullet, a classic yellow-print, floral shirt, and a freshly pressed pair of khaki’s.  Ladies and gentlemen the 500 Level Fan of the Game: Galileo.

Why did we call him Galileo you ask?  Take a look at this:

That’s right.  The astronomer has a pair of binoculars, but wasn’t really interested in watching the game.  Several times he was staring upwards, through the open roof and at the stars.  During moments when he wasn’t looking through his binoculars, he was busy doing this:

I couldn’t make out the title of the book, but one can be fairly sure that it had to do with the constellations.  Maybe he was trying to match Orion’s belt to the book’s description, or maybe he was trying to decipher what phase the moon was in.  Whatever it was, he made the game that much more entertaining for us.  So congratulations Galileo.

Also – a special honourable mention to a former Fan of the Game:

Tough to see from that distance, but zoomed closer it is none other than…

The Moustache Masturbator!

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