500 Level Fan of the Game – April 20th, 2011

The game was a disappointment.  Big Fat Bartolo Colon somehow completely befuddled the Blue Jays for nearly 7 innings (6.2 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 7 K), and Rafael Soriano snuffed out a late ninth inning rally.  The 6-2 loss dropped the Jays to 8-10 on the season and 1-1 against the Yanks.

The start from Colon was surprising.  It was the big righty’s first start since July 24, 2009 when he was a member of the Chicago White Sox.  I was one of many who expected the Jays to light up the tubby Colon on the way to a sweep of the two game mini-series.

I was shocked when he sat them down inning after inning.

But the shock of what was taking place down on the field quickly faded, replaced by a brand new type of shock and disbelief.

She was blonde, fairly tall, and pale-skinned.  She was wearing a short, tight black skirt, and a grey, low-cut top.  She was full of confidence, obvious by her strut up and down the stairs.

Oh – and she wasn’t a wearing a bra.

And everybody in section 532 knew it.

The 500 Level Fan of the Game for Wednesday night – the Head Turner.

With Colon mowing down the Jays, fans in our section were growing more restless by the minute, looking for something – anything – to take their minds off the atrocities on the field.  Suddenly, in the 4th inning, they had their saviour.  The Head Turner arrived with a few of her friends, wearing a white fur jacket.  As she walked up the stairs to her seat in row 16, each and every male (and most female) fans, literally turned their heads.

But that was only the beginning.

We counted three full round-trips between her seat, the concession stand, and back, with each trip proving more revealing than the one before it.

5th Inning: The Head Turner walks down with the white fur jacket on, then walks back up  with the jacket unzipped.  Estimated number of turned heads = 56.

6th Inning: The Head Turner takes a trip with the jacket off completely, grey shirt out in the open, no-bra fully obvious.  Estimated number of turned heads = 70

7th Inning: The grey shirt is completely off the right shoulder with the right breast 85% exposed.  Estimated number of turned heads = 175.

While she did a great job distracting the crowd from the putrid early effort, sadly she was an “early exit-er”, departing in the 8th inning.  Fans had nowhere else to turn when Johnny Mac and Yunel Escobar went down with the bases loaded in the 9th.

But for five glorious innings, the Head Turner was there to provide necessary, and entertaining, relief.

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