The game sucked. There – I said it. The Jays, amidst all of the excitement of Brett Lawrie’s home debut, put up a clunker against a team that they absolutely have to beat to prove they are on the way to contender-ville. The 4 – 1 loss to Oakland was disappointing.
Also disappointing was the action in the stands on a warm Tuesday night. Fans were happy to see Lawrie, angry with the performance on the field, but downright well behaved and polite – not what we have come to expect, especially in the glorious confines of the upper deck.
So no, there was no 500 Level Fan of the Game to hand out from last night. Instead, may I present the first ever 500 Level Botch of the Game.
Apologies for the blurry photo, but I had to act fast once the botch went down.
Everybody who has been to the Rogers Centre knows all about the “security” at the game. In the photo, the “officer” is wearing a baby blue golf shirt, equipped with an ear piece and walkie talkie, presumably to look more professional and intimidating. The “security” is wearing the white shirt. Generally, these people spend an entire ball game on the prowl for smuggled-in liquor. They have eagle eyes for spotting a mickey of vodka, an airplane mickey of rye, or a flask full of Jagermeister. Anybody who is over the age of 19 and orders a Coke from the concession stands is an instant suspect, likely to take a few sips of pop and then fill the cup with booze.
Also known as the fun police, these guys give the evil eye to anybody who might look suspicious. And last night, they saw an opportunity and pounced.
It was late in the game, the eighth inning, and the Jays were doing nothing on the field. After seeing the baby blue “officer” (let’s call him Biff) scowling around our section for most of the game, we were caught off guard a bit when he hurriedly ran to the section beside us, took off down the exit ramp, and returned with an actual police officer, and the “security” goon.
What had he seen, you ask? Was it the beginnings of a fight? A person chugging an open bottle of alcohol? A drunk vomiting?
No, no, and no.
Instead there was a young lady, in her 20′s, drinking a Coke out of a plastic, Rogers Centre purchased cup. Obviously, because everybody over 19 is a ruthless alcoholic intent on drinking illegally, they had to pull her into the aisle and rip the cup out of her hands. What followed was the most absurd thing I have ever seen. All three of them – Biff, “security”, and the policeman – took turns sniffing the drink. Theyhad their noses deep inside the cup, trying to detect even the faintest odour of booze.
Predictably, and hilariously, they smelled nothing. Red-faced, they let the girl go back to her seat, but offered her nothing in return – no apology, and no free drink, making her finish her pop after they breathed all over it. They left, embarrassed, to a chorus of boo’s.
So there you go – a 500 Level Botched Ejection.
On a side note:
Dear Rogers Centre,
Please do us all a favour and bring back the old draft beer. The bottom filling cups are a terrible, terrible idea. They invite spills, and they leak all the time.
500 Level Fan