It’s Time For Yet Another 500 Level Fan Reader “Male” Bag!

I’ve always prided myself on being a man of the people, and have tried to run my blog under one simple motto:

“Ask and you shall receive.”

Well – I have had a request: Bring back the mail (male) bag!

So my friends, sit back relax, and read on.  If you’re lucky, maybe your question will be answered (and since I only had five people ask, I guarantee you it will be), in this, the fourth ever 500 Level Fan Reader Male Bag.  (FYI – despite the name of the post, women are welcome to ask questions!)

Here we go:

We begin with fellow Blue Jay blogger – and one of the best in the biz – @BlueJayHunter, who asks “I have a short and simple question – what the heck do the Blue Jays do with the second base position?”

A: Ian sent this question on Friday afternoon, and the next day Toronto acquired Luis Valbuena from Cleveland.  But is this really the answer at second base?  Last year he only played in 17 games in the majors and put up a .506 OPS.  His career OPS of .630 also doesn’t really inspire much hope.  But on the positive side, he has fared pretty well in the Arizona Fall League, put up an .848 OPS in 113 triple-A games last year, and just turned 26 so he’s young.  And on top of that, several Indians bloggers are less than thrilled by the move from Cleveland’s perspective.  Maybe a change of scenery is al he needed?  I’d almost rather have him than overpay for Kelly Johnson.  So my guess is that Valbuena gets the first shot.  Another guess?  Hechavarria moves to second and cracks the Jays roster later in the year.  Or the unthinkable: Edwin Encarnacion shocks the world and unleashes his inner-Alomar.  A man can dream right?

Alright, moving on.  Next we have long time reader @TOSocialEvents with a whopping five questions!

Q: Does Travis Snider play better with or without his terrible moustache?

A: I’m not going to look at the stats to answer this, though admittedly they might help.  I think there is no doubt – the moustache must….STAY!  Snider looks terrible with the moustache – that much is obvious.  But remember when he hit a bomb in the Cito Gaston farewell game with a fake moustache on?  Now imagine that was a real ‘stache?   Upper deck blast.

Q: Who has a better moustache, Burt Reynolds or Cito Gaston?

A: Speaking of Cito, and sticking with the Movember train…as much as I love Cito, this is a no brainer.  Burt is a man among men.  Nothing beats it.

Q: If the Jays won the World Series and you were asked to host the after party at the parade, what would your bar options look like?

A: Good question.  There are many options for this.  You can go classy and pick a nice club downtown.  You go can with a Jays friendly bar like Opera Bobs or the Loose Moose.  But I think the best option is one that has cheap beer, a lot of room, and a place where men can urinate in a tiled trough with a waterfall flusher.  There is only bar in Toronto that can offer all of that.  I’m of course talking about The Dog’s Bollocks on Queen West.  Go there.  Trust me.  (Make sure you’re drunk first though…)

Q: In your honest opinion when will the Blue Jays next make the playoffs?

A: Hard to say right now, cause we don’t know what off-season moves Anthopoulos has up his sleeves, and we also don’t know when the additional Wild Card birth will come into play.  The fan in me says the Jays will get in this year.  The realist says it takes one more.  Book your playoff tickets for 2013.

Q: Who is the worst player to ever wear a Blue Jays uniform?

A: No-brainer: Kevin Cash.  This man sucked.  His career average as a Jay was .173 and his career OPS .485.  He was AWFUL.

Continuing forward, we move to an interesting question from an old classic and faithful reader @altrendy, who asks “George Bush owned the Rangers at one point?  What!  Tell us about Bush as an owner, Fan!  Please!”

A: Sure thing Trendos.  I’m not the biggest expert on the subject, but apparently good ol’ W bought into the Rangers in 1989, using borrowed money.  I found a few different sources on the story, with one saying he borrowed $800,000 and another saying $600,000.  The bottom line was that he was instrumental in bringing together 70 investors to form an ownership group, mainly due to his influence as the son of the president of the USA.  He added a powerful proviso in the deal that would see his ownership stake increase from 1% upwards as the original partners got their investments out.  When he ended up selling in 1998, he made over $15-million.  Of course, this all went down before he became president, but still – can you imagine if Dalton McGuinty, or Stephen Harper, or Jean Chretien owned the Jays?  Weird.  Take a look at this article for a more in depth look at Bush, and the scandal his ownership created.

Oh – another serious question from Mr. Trendy: “Are there any baseball players who are involved with crime outside of gambling?  NFL and NBA players get a bad reputation, but does baseball have a seedy underbelly that is hidden better than these two leagues?”

A: Wow – I don’t know.  Is that OK as an answer?  I know that baseball had a HUGE drug problem in the ’80’s as cocaine was running rampant through the league.  Players like Keith Hernandez, Tim Raines, and Dwight Gooden were all implicated.  Then of course there was the whole steroids thing.  Can’t say I”m aware of anything heavier than that.  Maybe they just do a better job of hiding it…I’ll keep you posted.

Next, let’s move to our pal @JPS_82, who excitedly asks: “Fan!  Did you see my retweet from the Big Hurt?”

A: Why yes, yes I did.  The following was an actual Twitter exchange from Saturday afternoon:

@JPS_82: @TheBigHurt_35 who do you like in the shortened NBA season? Are your Hawks and Joe Johnson taking the east this year?

@TheBigHurt_35: @JPS_82 No the Heat will rebound this year!!!

Congratulations pal. 

Finally, we end this edition of the “Male” Bag with two from @dsharpdavis:

Q: What do you think will happen to the Jays current “farm focus” if MLB decides to allow a second wildcard in 2012, instead of 2013?  Will they be more likely to go for a guaranteed big bat like Ortiz?

A: I don’t think so, and here’s why.  Alex Anthopoulos doesn’t want to simply make the playoffs.  He also doesn’t simply want to win the World Series.  (Though, obviously, both would be nice.)  What he wants to do is build a perennial contender that has a change to make the playoffs and win the World Series EVERY YEAR.  Signing Ortiz might be beneficial for 2012, but it also might be more harmful in the long run.  I think he wants to avoid giving multi-million dollar contracts to players on the downside of their careers…

And the grand finale…

Q: If you could turn one Blue Jay from the 2011 roster into a woman and seduce her for a night, who would it be?

A: Edwin Encarnacion – Queen of the Night.

2 thoughts on “It’s Time For Yet Another 500 Level Fan Reader “Male” Bag!”

  1. Thanks, Fan! Looks like I have some further reading to do. I’ll keep you posted on the crime syndicate I am sure is hiding somewhere in the annals of baseball history! Additional question: Building off of Dsharp’s question, do you agree with this proposed play-off change? How would you modify the MLB play-off structure (with or without appeasing the “purists”)?

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