Here we go friends. It’s another exclusive look behind the scenes in the Blue Jays clubhouse with 500 Level Fan’s Inside the Clubhouse, part IV:
Date: June 3, 2012
Time: 4:06 PM Eastern, minutes after Casey Janssen finished off Toronto’s 5-1 victory over the Boston Red Sox
Scene: Inside the Blue Jays clubhouse at Rogers Centre
[CHEERING fills the air as the Jays walk into the clubhouse]
Drew Hutchison: Nice job Case. Way to go CoCo. You too Ollie.
Darren Oliver: Hey kid, don’t thank me. You did a hell of a job out there. Great stuff!
[a loud BANG erupts, as Jose Bautista slams the door and enters the clubhouse]
Jose Bautista: Where’s my boy? Where’s Big E? Yo Eddie my man – where you hidin’?
[Edwin Encarnacion walks out of the trainer’s room with an ice pack strapped to his hand]
Edwin Encarnacion: I’m here amigo. A little sore, but survivin’.
Bautista: Glad to hear it. That Bard guy over there is sh*t. Pure sh*t if you ask me. But you see what we did to him today? Did you see me punish that meatball in the first? BOOM suckah!!!
[Bautista flexes his muscles, puckers his lips, and nods his head. EE follows suit. The rest of the team laughs and smiles]
Bautista: That’ll teach that clown to throw at us. Damn guy almost turned Yunel into an actual bobblehead. Right Yunel?
[Yunel Escobar is sitting at his locker, playing with his bobblehead doll that was handed out to fans that day. He is oblivious to anything being said in the room]
Yunel Escobar [to his doll]: hola miniatura Yunel. estás siendo amable? tú eres mi nuevo amigo. Te traeré en el camino conmigo.
[loosely translated this means: hi miniature yunel. are you being nice? you are my new friend. I will bring you on the road with me.]
Francisco Cordero [sitting nearby completely naked save for an ice pack his arm]: That is weird. Too weird for me.
Bautista: Hey Hutchy.
[Drew Hutchison stands up]
Bautista: Great job out there. And great job plunking that dick Youkilis in the shoulder. That’s the kind of thing I like to see. They hit us, we hit them. And who better to nail than that ugly punk, right?
Brett Lawrie: Yaahhhh babbbbyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
Hutchison: I swear I thought he was coming out at me. That dude looked mad. I’m a pretty tough guy, but I might have sh*t myself if that big ugly mule came charging out.
Hutchison: Yo J.P. What did you say to him to calm him down?
J.P. Arencibia: Oh no. That’s a secret of the trade my man. I can’t disclose that kind of thing!
Lawrie: Come on brosef! Tell the world. TELL THE WORLD!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Arencibia: I basically told him not to wet his panties. I told him to tighten the bra holding up his big man boobies, pull the dildo out of his a*s, and walk to first like a good girl. Then I told him that he’s liable to get charged with child abuse if he went after Drew. How old are you anyways Hutch? 11?
Hutchison [smiling]: F*ck you dude!
Arencibia: Hey now! Whoa! The kid is talking back to his elders!
[Rajai Davis and Jason Frasor throw towels at Hutchison]
Hutchison: Well, I may be young, but at least I’m not a child – right Brett bud?
Lawrie: That’s dope bro!!! Truth! Wooooooooooo!!!!!!!
Dwayne Murphy [shaking his head in the corner]: I’m gettin’ too old for this sh*t.