ITC the IVth

Here we go friends.  It’s another exclusive look behind the scenes in the Blue Jays clubhouse with 500 Level Fan’s Inside the Clubhouse, part IV:


Date: June 3, 2012

Time: 4:06 PM Eastern, minutes after Casey Janssen finished off Toronto’s 5-1 victory over the Boston Red Sox

Scene: Inside the Blue Jays clubhouse at Rogers Centre

[CHEERING fills the air as the Jays walk into the clubhouse]

Drew Hutchison: Nice job Case.  Way to go CoCo.  You too Ollie.

Darren Oliver: Hey kid, don’t thank me.  You did a hell of a job out there.  Great stuff!

[a loud BANG erupts, as Jose Bautista slams the door and enters the clubhouse]

Jose Bautista:  Where’s my boy?  Where’s Big E?  Yo Eddie my man – where you hidin’?

[Edwin Encarnacion walks out of the trainer’s room with an ice pack strapped to his hand]

Edwin Encarnacion: I’m here amigo.  A little sore, but survivin’.

Bautista: Glad to hear it.  That Bard guy over there is sh*t.  Pure sh*t if you ask me.  But you see what we did to him today?  Did you see me punish that meatball in the first?  BOOM suckah!!!

[Bautista flexes his muscles, puckers his lips, and nods his head.  EE follows suit.  The rest of the team laughs and smiles]

Bautista: That’ll teach that clown to throw at us.  Damn guy almost turned Yunel into an actual bobblehead.  Right Yunel?

[Yunel Escobar is sitting at his locker, playing with his bobblehead doll that was handed out to fans that day.  He is oblivious to anything being said in the room]

Yunel Escobar [to his doll]:  hola miniatura Yunel. estás siendo amable? tú eres mi nuevo amigo. Te traeré en el camino conmigo.

[loosely translated this means: hi miniature yunel.  are you being nice? you are my new friend.  I will bring you on the road with me.]

Francisco Cordero [sitting nearby completely naked save for an ice pack his arm]: That is weird.  Too weird for me.

Bautista: Hey Hutchy.

[Drew Hutchison stands up]

Hutch: Yo.

Bautista: Great job out there.  And great job plunking that dick Youkilis in the shoulder.  That’s the kind of thing I like to see.  They hit us, we hit them.  And who better to nail than that ugly punk, right?

Brett Lawrie: Yaahhhh  babbbbyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Hutchison: I swear I thought he was coming out at me.  That dude looked mad.  I’m a pretty tough guy, but I might have sh*t myself if that big ugly mule came charging out.


Hutchison: Yo J.P.  What did you say to him to calm him down?

J.P. Arencibia: Oh no.  That’s a secret of the trade my man.  I can’t disclose that kind of thing!

Lawrie: Come on brosef!  Tell the world.  TELL THE WORLD!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Arencibia: I basically told him not to wet his panties.  I told him to tighten the bra holding up his big man boobies, pull the dildo out of his a*s, and walk to first like a good girl.  Then  I told him that he’s liable to get charged with child abuse if he went after Drew.  How old are you anyways Hutch?  11?

Hutchison [smiling]: F*ck you dude!

Arencibia: Hey now!  Whoa!  The kid is talking back to his elders!

[Rajai Davis and Jason Frasor throw towels at Hutchison]

Hutchison: Well, I may be young, but at least I’m not a child – right Brett bud?

Lawrie: That’s dope bro!!!  Truth!  Wooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Dwayne Murphy [shaking his head in the corner]: I’m gettin’ too old for this sh*t.


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