Angry Friday: MLB Players I’d Love To Punch In the Face

All week I was planning a “mail it in Friday” type of post for today, one that wouldn’t require a lot of thinking, analysis, or – frankly – writing.

Then this morning I woke up in a bit of an angry mood. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the rain. Maybe it’s the fact that I had to watch Abby Wambach get a gold medal yesterday. Maybe it’s the fact that the Jays are 2-6 in August and 53-58 for the season.

Who knows.

So, instead of a simple mail-it-in Friday post, I decided to combine the two of them – a mail-it-in AND angry Friday post!

Loyal readers, I present to you, a list of MLB players I would love to punch in the face.

For the record I have never punched anybody in the

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face in my entire life. But if I ever were to do so, I’d start with this list.

Note – there may be a bit of bias here. Most of the players are current or former Red Sox…


Jonathan “The Self Cleaning Anus” Papelbon

Wouldn’t it feel so good, just to clock him in his silly face??


Dustin “Rat Face” Pedroia

Only problem – he might be too small to hit.


Nick “Idiot” Swisher

What a douche canoe that guy.


Mark “Mule” Teixeira

A punch would be good, but so would a kick to the chops. He’s just too….boring.


Francisco “CoCo” Cordero

Didn’t like him even when he was on the Jays. Plus his cheeks look really soft.


Eric “He Ate His Trophy” Hinske

Poor guy just keeps getting bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And…


Josh “I Only Get Five Days Off A Year” Beckett

His face just screams “punch me”.


Kevin “Donkey” Youkilis


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