Our old friend @thecraiger was in town over the weekend to take in a Jays game.  Lucky for him he sat right behind Vancouver Canucks netminder Roberto Luongo…or at least a ringer for Bobby Lu.  Needless to say, @thecraiger was not too impressed with him, and makes Bobby last Saturday’s 500 Level Fan of the Game:

Was he a coward? No. Did he let the entire city down? No. Was he a overpaid ‘elite’ NHL goalie who’s wife has such a lack of respect for him that she wouldn’t move to Vancouver to support her husband? No. But wow, did he ever look like the Vancouver Canucks net minder Roberto Luongo. His looks, general demeanor, and mannerisms make me happy to announce the 500 Level Fan of the game simply as ‘Lou’.

His emotions during the Saturday April 28th game against Seattle when a grand slam flew off the bat of Edwin Encarnaceon said it all – he was a laid back dude with no heart or passion for the game- like Lou. However, unlike the real Lou there was no way knowing if this Lou was a person dripping with utter cowardice and arrogance.

Cheers to this Lou, and anti-cheers to his greasy hair, teammates in Vancouver, and the cowardice that is forever embedded in the Luongo name.

Go back.

A great game at the ol’ dome last night.  It had it all: an amazing start (4 straight strikeouts for Hutch), a terrible second inning, a Bau home run, a thrilling comeback, a blown save, and a walk off blast by Lawrie.  The crowd wasn’t huge but those of us that were there, after some unpleasant curses thrown at Francisco Cordero for his continued lousiness, went home happy.

One fan in particular missed most of that.  To be fair, she was only like this for the first four innings before the rest of her group arrived, but I don’t know if she knew the first four innings even happened.

The 500 Level Fan of the game yesterday – the Model Employee.  With the lap top fully out and running, she was 100% engaged in what she was doing.  Not content to leave work where it belongs – at the office – she brought it with her to the Rogers Centre, showing her devotion to her career. 

Drew Hutchison striking out three straight powerful Texas Rangers hitters to start the game?  That holds nothing on the latest TPS report.

Kelly Johnson swatting a 3-run bomb to cut the Jays deficit to two runs?  Not as exciting as Microsoft Excel!

Bautista breaking out of his season long slump with a mammoth blast to left field?  No way!  Give me PowerPoint!

Once the fifth inning hit, she was fully engaged with the game, but nothing can take those first four innings away.  Congratulations Model Employee!

A very special Fan of the Game submission today, provided by a man who was as far as away from the dome as you can get in Canada – rainy Vancouver, home of the dreadfully disappointing Canucks.

Via the wonder that is Twitter, here is the latest edition of the 500 Level Fan of the Game.

“Brett Lawrie’s attempt to steal home and the anticipation of Bau breaking out of his slow start at the plate are usually pretty exciting things to look out for at the Dome.  Well tell that to this mini 500 level fan of the game – The Beautiful Infant. 

 The Beautiful Infant is the six week old Lily, and by the looks of it, she is already a fan. With a cute little Blue Jay shirt, she looks like she has been a fan for years. 

 Though I was not at the game, I understand (via twitter) that Lily was an aggressive sleeper at the Dome. Unlike her father, who shall remain nameless, Lily is not passed out due to robust alcohol intake.  Rather Lily is tired because she is a baby. 

 Being a baby at the dome has to be difficult. No decent food by baby standards, beer isn’t served warm (or served from a breast) and most of all there are so many idiots screaming uncontrollably. By the looks of it, Lily could care less – she’ll be just fine!

 This was the first of many many trips to the Dome for Lily, and one thing is for sure, she fits right in. She looks the part, and will demand that AA puts the best possible team on the field. 

 The Beautiful Infant was easily the most well behaved person at the game. Lily, keep up the good work!”

And Sauny – you keep up the good work as well.  Keep the fan of the game submissions coming!

Great game at the ol’ Dome last night, my first of the season, and my first using the new Jays Fan Pass.  Other than a few glitches (multiple swipes to get it to register, and the fact that my dad’s card was de-magnetized forcing him to go to customer service) the group got in and settled by the second inning.

With 500 Level Fan’s favourite man Edwin Encarncion leading the way, the Jays pounded Boston 7-3 to move back over the .500 mark.  Kyle Drabek pitched very well (5.1 IP, 3 H, 3 BB, 1 ER, 4 K), and EE, Escobar, Lind, and Lawrie each had a pair of hits.  The only troubling signs came from Colby Rasmus, who continues to struggle and is now hitting .095, and Jose Bautista, who had a hat-trick of strikeouts and is now 1 for his past 16.

But hey, a win’s a win.  We’ll take it.

As we settled into our seats a quick look around showed us a pretty Jays friendly section.  A lot of younger people, a lot of jerseys, and a ton of new caps were everywhere. 

But then we see a genuine celebrity, and there was no doubt who the 500 Level Fan of the Game would be.

Everybody has heard of Friar Tuck.  You may be aware of NY Giants defensive player Justin Tuck.  Some of you might even know FTC – Fully Tucked Chuck.

But have you ever in your life seen this man?

Here he is – Terrible Tuck.

That is a deep, agressive tuck.  Incredible.  Congrats TT on being 500 Level Fan’s first Fan of the Game for 2012.

Baseball is, and has always been, a real father and son sport.  For decades, dad’s have been teaching their boys how to catch, how to throw, and how to watch the game.  It’s very common to see fathers and sons flocking into a big league stadium together, the kid wearing a glove, and a look of excitement on his face.

In this day and age, with so many different avenues available for kids to have fun – like videogames, skateboarding, football, and hockey – it’s nice to see that baseball still has the ability to bring fathers and sons together.  Mrs. 500 Level Fan and I witnessed it first hand yesterday.

It was unseasonably cool in Toronto on Labour Day, but the roof was still open.  The atmosphere was festive as the Red Sox, and thousands of their annoying and arrogant fans, were in town.  While Boston was trying to fend off the harging Rays for the Wild Card spot, the Jays were simply playing out the string, so the tension in the dome was almost non-existent.  It was a holiday and the last day before school – people were there to have fun.

And in the row in front of us, a father and his son were doing just that.  Having a blast. 

It started out quiet for them, with the dad reading the program, and learning how to keep score.  The son was quiet in his seat, watching the game.  But then, as the innings wore on, and the score remained tied, the anticipation and excitement built between them.  Suddenly the son was up and dancing in between batters.  In between innings when crappy Rogers Centre give-aways were happening, the son was again on his feet, dancing to the music.  The dad was clapping for him, egging him on for more.  When Jose Bautista was introduced for an at-bat late in the game, huge cheers erupted from both of them.

Then in the 8th, with the game still scoreless and both teams having missed great opportunities, the father reached over and put his arm around his son.  And there they sat.  For two whole innings, arm in arm.  During any musical breaks, they would dance in their seats, rocking back and forth.  Whenever a Blue Jay came to the plate, there was cheers.  If he struck out, unlike other fans who yelled “Come on you bum”, or “Seriously?”, the dad and son simply shouted “Next time Lind!”, or “Good try.”

It was great, and very refreshing, to see.

Unfortunately the dad didn’t follow the golden rule of baseball. 

Never.  Leave.  Early.

After the Jays failed to score in the 10th, the two of them stood up and headed for the exits.  It was all I could do to not reach out and grab them, tell them to stick around.  They missed the walkoff HR from Lawrie, which is a shame.

It would have been awesome to see their celebration.

A blurry view of the botched ejection

The game sucked.  There – I said it.  The Jays, amidst all of the excitement of Brett Lawrie’s home debut, put up a clunker against a team that they absolutely have to beat to prove they are on the way to contender-ville.  The 4 – 1 loss to Oakland was disappointing.

Also disappointing was the action in the stands on a warm Tuesday night.  Fans were happy to see Lawrie, angry with the performance on the field, but downright well behaved and polite – not what we have come to expect, especially in the glorious confines of the upper deck.

So no, there was no 500 Level Fan of the Game to hand out from last night.  Instead, may I present the first ever 500 Level Botch of the Game.

Apologies for the blurry photo, but I had to act fast once the botch went down.

Everybody who has been to the Rogers Centre knows all about the “security” at the game.  In the photo, the “officer” is wearing a baby blue golf shirt, equipped with an ear piece and walkie talkie, presumably to look more professional and intimidating.  The “security” is wearing the white shirt.  Generally, these people spend an entire ball game on the prowl for smuggled-in liquor.  They have eagle eyes for spotting a mickey of vodka, an airplane mickey of rye, or a flask full of Jagermeister.  Anybody who is over the age of 19 and orders a Coke from the concession stands is an instant suspect, likely to take a few sips of pop and then fill the cup with booze.

Also known as the fun police, these guys give the evil eye to anybody who might look suspicious. And last night, they saw an opportunity and pounced. 

It was late in the game, the eighth inning, and the Jays were doing nothing on the field.  After seeing the baby blue “officer” (let’s call him Biff) scowling around our section for most of the game, we were caught off guard a bit when he hurriedly ran to the section beside us, took off down the exit ramp, and returned with an actual police officer, and the “security” goon. 

What had he seen, you ask?  Was it the beginnings of a fight?  A person chugging an open bottle of alcohol?  A drunk vomiting?

No, no, and no.

Instead there was a young lady, in her 20′s, drinking a Coke out of a plastic, Rogers Centre purchased cup.  Obviously, because everybody over 19 is a ruthless alcoholic intent on drinking illegally, they had to pull her into the aisle and rip the cup out of her hands.  What followed was the most absurd thing I have ever seen.  All three of them – Biff, “security”, and the policeman – took turns sniffing the drink.  Theyhad their noses deep inside the cup, trying to detect even the faintest odour of booze. 

Predictably, and hilariously, they smelled nothing.  Red-faced, they let the girl go back to her seat, but offered her nothing in return – no apology, and no free drink, making her finish her pop after they breathed all over it.  They left, embarrassed, to a chorus of boo’s. 

Priceless.

So there you go – a 500 Level Botched Ejection.

On a side note:

Dear Rogers Centre,

Please do us all a favour and bring back the old draft beer.  The bottom filling cups are a terrible, terrible idea.  They invite spills, and they leak all the time.

Yours truly,

500 Level Fan

It was “Welcome Back Doc” day at the dome on Saturday afternoon, and as expected a HUGE crowd turned out to see our former hero.  Nearly 45,000 people crammed into the Rogers Centre, giving us ample opportunity to spot a top notch fan of the game.

But a very surprising thing happened – the fans in the upper deck (at least way out in section 510 where we were sitting) were incredibly well behaved.  Most were hardcore into the game.  Very few people near us were drinking heavily.  In fact, there were a lot of families in the seats surrounding us.

For a change, there were a lot of drunken idiots in the lower level.  There was the fool who ran onto the field in the 9th.  There were the clowns who littered the field with garbage and water bottles after the ejections of Jon Rauch and John Farrell.  But people stayed relatively cool, calm, and collected up top.  Refreshing.

The winner of the fan of the game for Saturday wasn’t really in contention until I finally got a good look at his face.  He was there with a friend, who from the sounds of the conversation had been a friend for a long, long, long time.

The conversation itself was pretty entertaining, including such great lines as:

- “How are you enjoying life as a retiree?”…”I like it.  I can’t ever remember what day it is.”

- “I wonder how they calculate the stat Earned Run Average..”…”I think it has something to do with pitches and innings.”…”Oh, OK.  Maybe I’ll ask Google later.”

- “Who’s pitching?”…”I don’t know, they don’t post the pitchers name.”…”Oh wait, I see it.  Vilvanoovayawwwaa.”

- “I don’t understand the fuss about flat screen TV’s.”…”I know, I’ve been watching my same TV since the 1970′s.”…”I’m surprised the cathode TV tube died out so quickly.  That was a great piece of technology.”

So…entertaining? Yes.  Fan of the game worthy?  Not really.  But when I finally turned around to look at him, I was floored.

Sitting behind us, in Section 510, Row 3, Seat 101 was none other than Mr. Sam Crenshaw!

You all remember Sam Crenshaw don’t you?  The night security guard from epic children’s TV show Today’s Special?  He had a talking computer, and was friends with Muffy Mouse who only spoke in rhyme.  He was a classic character.  Sure he was a puppet, but what does that matter?

By far the most noticeable feature of Crenshaw was his moustache.  It was glorious.  It looked almost looked like worms hanging out on his lower lip, settling in underneath is gigantic nose.  It was a face you would recognize anywhere.

So when I looked behind me and saw his real life twin, I was shocked.  Take a closer look at the comparison.  It’s truly amazing!

So congratulations to Real Life Sam Crenshaw, 500 Level Fan’s Fan of the Game!

For years and years I have been heading to the dome to watch the Jays.  For the majority of those years I have made my home in the 500 Level, a sucker for cheap tickets with a good view of the field.

I have probably been to at least 80 games in the upper deck, maybe even 100, and in all of those games there had always been one thing that had eluded me, one 500 Level curiousity that I had never laid eyes on.  It was a phenomenon, like Bigfoot – though there were rumours of its existence, I wasn’t quite sure if it was true.

But a few weeks ago, I found it, saw it with my own two eyes.  It does, indeed, exist.

I’m talking about section 520 – The Non Drinking Zone.

Even though I found it, I remain confused as to its purpose.  In theory I can see the point of the section.  Parents can take smaller children there without sitting beside drunks who swear and slur.  But in reality, it is useless.  The same drunks that you want to be protected from are still sitting one section over.  You can still hear the swearing and the slurring.  You are only a few feet away from any potential drunken brawls.

But it exists and it is monitored quite heavily by Rogers Centre security.  Step one foot inside the section while carrying a beer and a blue jacket will start walking up the stairs to remove you. 

The staff does a fine job of keeping the section clear, but sometimes can be a bit slow to the punch.

It is times like these when this man steps up:

The 500 Level Fan of the Game for June 14th – the Non Drinking Zone Enforcer.

He sat in the aisle seat, all the better to make sure not a single drop of alcohol crossed his path.  His eyes were constantly on the lookout for scoundrels trying to smuggle a $10 beer into his section, almost like a Prohibition era cop looking for bootleggers.  I’m not even sure he even watched (or cared about) the game.

On three separate occassions moves were made, daring young souls encroaching on his territory with a beer in hand.  Determined to press forward and penetrate the Zone, the drinkers placed one foot, then a second into NDZ (No Drink Zone) territory.  But they were destined to fail from the start, as the Enforcer would not be fooled or intimidated.

One look was enough to freeze anybody in their tracks, make hairs on the backs of necks stand up.  But it was the voice that really sent them scurrying, the stern “Excuse me!  This is a NON DRINKING SECTION!”.

The Enforcer was also armed with a camera around his neck – at least we thought it was a camera.  Equipped with a long zoom lens, the camera was NEVER ONCE USED!  I never saw a photo taken of the field, never even saw him peer through the viewfinder.  There was speculation that it might actually be a sniper rifle, giving the Enforcer weaponry against intruding drinkers.

Though he ended up leaving early, the Enforcer was effective.  So deep was the fear that he placed on those around him, that even after his departure not a single beer drinker tried to sit in the NDZ.

A job well done, and a fan of the game award well deserved.

It was a very quiet night at the ball park on Tuesday.  Fitting, actually, because it was a terrible game.  The Jays lost 6 – 3 and it might as well have been 100 – 3.

But for my friends and I, it was an outstanding experience.  The weather was hot, the beers were cold, and the entertainment level in the upper deck was high.

The row ahead of us was occupied by a group of guys wearing matching camouflage hats, identical goatees, and Pro Bass fishing gear.  The seats beside were filled by three drunk girls, including one who openly poured vodka straight from a mickey of Smirnoff into a coke cup, yelled “Go Jays” in an extremely slurred voice before passing out on the railing and spitting up onto the ground.  She was promptly ejected.

While that may have been the highlight for many, it paled in comparison to the eventual winner of the Fan of the Game award.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 500 Level Fan of the Game for May 31st – the Nicest Man in the World.

He showed up towards the 4th, blue shirt, blue pants, and white running shoes.  He was carrying a shower radio, which he undoubtedly had tuned to Jerry Howarth.  One look at his face was all you needed to realize that he was indeed the Nicest Man in the World.

He had kind eyes and an intelligent face.  He was constantly smiling.  He stopped to say a few words to those around him.  He was happy when the Jays did something well, but he also appreciated good baseball by the Indians, rewarding them with polite applause when they made a nice play in the field.

A few innings after his arrival, a man wearing a full denim outfit walked up the stairs and sat beside Nicest.  The two spoke for several minutes – about what we’ll never know.  But it was plain for all to see that the Nicest Man was all ears, helping an old friend through some kind of problem.  When the man stood to leave, Nicest gave him a firm handshake, a pat on the back, and a smile.

It’s a rare day when the Fan of the Game wins the award for kindness and not lunacy.

It didn’t matter that Toronto was being drubbed 6-0 at the time.  The Nicest Man in the World made all of us feel happy and worthy.

It was a terrible decision, but one that I had to make: I was unable to go to the game on Saturday.  Thus, I missed seeing in person one of the most rare events that baseball has to offer – a no-hitter.

Thankfully I had some 500 Level Fan scouts at the game, and one was able to come away with a great piece about a drunk and obnoxious Tigers fan.  Thanks @TOSocialEvents!

“The 5 inning SuperFan”

The roof was open.  The sun was shining.  The crowd was big.  The fans were in good spirits.   And Justin Verlander threw a no hitter, facing the minimum 27 batters and coming literally within one pitch of a perfect game.  Forget that the Jays played terribly and got blown out –  the respectful crowd at The Rogers Center still gave Verlander a standing ovation.  By that point in the game however this guy didn’t even seem to care.  Ladies and gentleman I give you… The 5 inning SuperFan.

Initially I had actually thought about calling this post “The Tigers fan who thought he was a Yankees fan.”  He was obnoxious.  He was vocal.  He was rude.  But most importantly he thought his team was God’s gift to baseball and he wanted everyone to know it.  I mentioned above that he didn’t seem to care about the no hitter but that was a far cry from the opinions he voiced through the first 5 innings.  Seemingly with every pitch he had a comment.

“Settle under that Inge, you got it buddy, no problem, nice grab Inge.” (routine inflied fly)

“Here comes an easy out.” (every jays batter – too bad this one proved true)

“Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsss” (consistently with his group of friends)

“Oh that’s in there for a strike.” (seemingly every pitch, ball or strike)

And the list goes on and on and on.  I think we have all seen these people before and you get the point.  Literally this guy was cheering and jeering with every pitch.  That was of course until the Bud Light Limes got the better of him.  After the 5^th inning he barely spoke, even to his friends seated with him in section 517.  He made one slurred comment in the bottom of the 8^th but that was all. 

The guy didn’t even say a word… NOT ONE WORD… when Verlander completed the no hitter.  He didn’t say ANYTHING when JP walked to spoil the perfect game.  With two outs in the 9^th I looked back and he was playing with his phone.  Are you kidding me!!! The 25,000 plus that remained to watch the conclusion of the game even rooted for the opposing pitcher in a 9-0 romp.  The 5 inning SuperFan however did not utter a single word and by that point I was proud that he wasn’t a Jays fan.