Category Archives: They Said It

162 Angry Words


500 Level Fan,

Brett Lawrie is injured again, I hope no one is surprised.  This has to be pinned squarely on the coaching staff, or as I like to say the coaching ‘stiffs’.  As I’ve suggested for over one and a half years now, the coach staff Gibby has in place are a bunch of shmucks.  These stiffs couldn’t condition a special needs athlete preparing for a 2 minutes rhythmic gymnastics routine in the special Olympics.  Last year the injuries in the bullpen were no fluke.  The pitchers are athletes that need world class training and conditioning, which the Jays cannot offer at this time.  Earlier last month, it wasn’t until Adam Lind’s mom suggested an x-ray that they realized his foot was broken.  Now, Brett Lawrie is out with a stiff back, three innings after returning from a broken finger?

Ditch the stiffs, and bring in world class trainers, or the Jays will have no hope to get into the playoffs.


Angry Craiger.

Ricky Romero – A Fan’s Perspective


A special treat today at 500 Level Fan.  Here to write a guest post about the demotion of Ricky Romero is none other than @TheCraiger, noted Romero opponent.

As you might expect, he is quite happy that the Jays have send down the erratic lefty.



What a week to be a Toronto Blue Jays fan.  On the same day I ordered my Jays batting practice hat from the Jays Shop (thanks to free shipping across Canada),  Alex Anthopoulos confirmed what so many of us knew to be true: Romero is unfit to pitch at the major league level.   AA, where were you last July??


Having the level of self-respect usually reserved for cuckolds and male adult video stars with tattoos on their face, Ricky was optioned down to the minor league system of the Toronto Blue Jays.  Not only did Romero not make the Jays AAA team, or AA team but he is staying in Dunedin to learn ‘the basics’ with the Single A team. The only thing worse would have been the Single A Short Season team in Vancouver.  I think he was spared this embarrassment given that season doesn’t start until June.  Not to mention they likely don’t want the liability of a player like Ricky.


Ricky has major confidence issues combined with decaying skill level. This is a lethal combination for a pro athlete to have.  He has the swagger of a rapper, but the execution of a sweet talker with a lisp.  For a man who lives with his parents in the office season, he should be well rested, in perfect shape and ready to go every season.


Just a few questions I’d love to know the answer to:


-Did he make any extra effort to work with a coach in the off-season or was he too busy planning BBQ’s with Travis Snider (the ‘Lunch Box coward’ himself)?


-Will he focus less on tweeting and more on learning mechanics while he makes it through his stint in A?


-His time participating in Jays promotional activities will likely be over – will this cause any more issues with his ego and/or swagger?


-If he ever gets back to the MLB, will he be able to hold his head high while heading to the player lounge at Real Sports to watch himself on the big screen?  I personally think he should be banned from the player lounge until he has a 12 game season….don’t hold your breath on this Ricky fans…


We’ll have to wait and see what happens with Ricky, but I’m afraid he’s seen his last start as a pitcher in the Blue Jays rotation.  Is he a coward?  No.  In fact his attitude is very good.  Is it arrogance?  I don’t think so, he seems grounded.  He just needs to remember why he made the bigs in the first place, and learn from his peers and coaches.


Prediction:  He will be traded this year to get a new start in the NL.  Arizona and San Diego are likely suitors for this talentless man.




The Night When The Upper Deck Went Insane…Literally

It’s just before noon on Tuesday, about 17 hours after the first pitch from last night’s disaster of a ballgame. 

17 long hours have passed, and I still can’t believe what happened. 

I’m not talking about the game itself.  That much is obvious.  The Jays stunk.  They were basically run off the field by a Tigers team that I don’t even really consider to be all that great.  Every aspect of their game was awful last night – offense, defense, pitching, baserunning, everything.

No, what I can’t believe was what happened to the upper deck, section 519 specifically, beginning in the 5th.

A group of five people went insane.  Literally insane.  Lost their minds, off their rockers, googly-eyed insane. 

It was all at once crazy, terrifying, and hilarious.

Two of the fans have been profiled here before – the inmitable Bobby and Pingu.  They were joined by two women and one other man.  After a very quiet and docile first few innings, something happened.  My guess is that their medication wore off.  Because in the 5th, all hell broke loose.

It began with Pingu, standing up and addressing a quiet Rogers Centre:


Then the quotes flew in quick succession:

“Hey crowd, pay some more on your Rogers bill so we can get some better players!”

“We’re #5 after tonight.  We can’t go any lower because there aren’t any more teams!”

“If we had more money we could bring back Vernon Wells, Shaun Markonn, and Ray Holiday!” (I’m trying to spell the names like he pronounced them.)

“That’s what you get when you put Tigers against Blue Jays . The Tigers have eaten so many birds they must have fur balls!”

Then Bobby piped up:

“Come on you Puke-a-maniacs!”

“See all these blue seats? Those are the smart people who aren’t here.  We all have a mental defect cause we’re here!  We’re humanoids brother!”

“Yum yum yum.  Grrrrr.  Grrrr.  Arrrrrr.” (At this point he was on his feet acting like a man-eating giant by pretending to eat the players on the field.  Not joking.)

“Oh, it’s Bautista!  SSSTTTEEERRROOOIIIDDDSSS!!!! SSSTTTEEERRROOOIIIDDDSSS!!!!.  What?  I have the right to question him because he went from 13 HR to 54 HR in one year.  And I bought a ticket!  Grrr.. Yumm yumyum.  Arrrr.rrrr.r.r.rrrr”

Then the ultimate.  The women’s meds wore off and the floodgates opened:

“My Jays are sore losers!”

“Come on you donkey, get a hit!”

“Come on you donkey, get off your wagon!”

“When donkeys fly you might get a hit, when donkeys fly!”

“Come on you sore losers!  Come on you chicken fingers!  Come on chicken liver!  Come on chicken lovers!  Do it horse feathers!  Do it Mickey Mouse!  Swing the bat Duck Feet!  Come on you rat tails!”

“I hate Deee-troy-it!  I hate, hate, hate, hate them!  It’s not fair!”

“This game is boring!”

“Ahhh sh*t!  He swung and missed!”

“Get your act together duck feet!”

“Bautista can’t hit tonight.  Maybe he’ll get one more ball and have a walk.  DON’T HIT HIM!” (J-Bau was already 2 for 2 with a single, double, walk, and RBI.)

“Why is everybody leaving?  That’s not nice!  This is my home!  Be nice to the Jays!  Screw you Edwin you stupid donkey!”

After that comment, an usher told them that maybe the team is doing so poorly because they are being so mean, to which one of the women responded with:

“I love the Jays.  I love Toronto.  I LOVE IT HERE!  And I hate Dee-Troy-It.  And I LOVE Bosssston!”

Things got so out of control that the same Rogers Centre usher actually came up to us to apologize, saying that they are here all the time.  We didn’t care – it was bonus entertainment! 

The last word of the night went to Pingu:

“Raise your hand if you want a winning team in the next 25 years.  Now somebody please tell me the score of the Vancouver hoooooooockey game!”

For your entertainment, please enjoy the following audio recording.  It will feel like you are right in the action!

Isanity at the Rogers Centre

Classic Quotes From A “Superfan”

Attendance was low at the dome on Tuesday night, much lower than the first three games of the season.

But although the number of fans was down, the number of interesting fans was not.  One man in particular laid claim to being the man of the night.  His commentary was so ridiculous that we literally had to move sections to get away from him.

He was clad in a powder blue jersey and vintage mesh back cap.  He was with a girl, and from their interaction it looked like it was a new relationship, or a budding one.  In order to impress her he decided to deem himself the Superfan, and show off his vast expanse of baseball and Blue Jay related knowledge.

He failed.

Here are a few classic quotes from the Superfan.

“Why would Farrell scratch Bautista?  What kind of a manager is this guy?”  As a “Superfan” one would think that he would be aware of the fact that Jose will miss the entire series.  Apparently they don’t make superfans like they used to…

“Bautista would have had that!” This was directed at third baseman Jayson Nix after a ball got by his outstretched glove.  Again, as a Superfan one would expect him to be aware of the fact that Jose Bautista plays right field, and hasn’t played a major league game at third since mid-September of last season.

“Cito would have been out there arguing that!” (after a close call at second went against the Jays.) Never mind the fact that Cito rarely left the dugout, or the fact that not even the players closest to the play weren’t arguing.  The Superfan was MAD.

“Farrell sucks.  What a terrible manager.  First he scratched Bautista, and now he doesn’t even argue that?  Come on!”

“Get that in you Mo Fo!”  Because calling people mo fo’s makes you look cool in front of women…

“Get off your knees ump, you’re blowing the game!” Pure gold!

“You again ump?  Why?” After an Oakland infield single that the Superfan thought was an out.  He was wrong.  Badly.

All of the above happened before the end of the third inning,, at which point we had to move sections. 

Sadly, I didn’t get to see how successful his courtship turned out to be.  But judging by the fact that I kept seeing him in line for beer I can only assume not well.

Classic Quotes From a Weekend Series Against Tampa

Fantastic game on Friday night, terrible game on Saturday afternoon.  While I was at the Friday night game live and in person – along with fellow Jays bloggers 1 Blue Jays Way and the Blue Jay Hunter – my memory is dim due to beer.  Thankfully, I was not at yesterday’s debacle.  But both nights I had friends scattered throughout the dome who sent me the following classic quotes from Rogers Centre fans.


  • “Wow!  Get this guy outta the game immediately!” – first inning on Friday, after Cecil fell behind 4-0.
  • “Yes Longoria!  You made an error!  Yes!” – dumb frosh kid after Longoria booted a ball in the bottom of the first.
  • “Don’t worry.  The Jays got them right where they want them.” – after Toronto fell behind 8-1.
  • “So I was working at Jack Astor’s, and there was this girl who would come in.  She was the 7th inning stretch girl.  I was tagging her for a while.  It was awesome.”
  • “Alright, bring in the next stiff.” – during a pitching change on Saturday, when the Jays were down 13-1.
  • “This is the worst god damn game ever.  It’s going on forever.  Christ almighty, put me out of my misery.” – Classic.

Classic Quotes from the Upper Deck – August 10th, 2010

Actual comments from fans in the 500 Level during Toronto’s 7-5 loss to Boston:

  • “What I don’t want you to do is chug it.  But…I can’t sell you another one ’til you’re done” – beer vendor in section 534, while winking
  • “Double it up!  Oh you idiot!  Why wouldn’t he go for the double play?” – guy behind me after Johnny Mac flipped the ball to Aaron Hill with 2 outs to end the inning
  • “Boo!  Get him back to the minors!” – after Travis Snider struck out to end the 6th
  • “Come on!  Russ Adams would have made that play.” – said after Hill successfully turned a double play.  I didn’t understand…

The following are all from the same group of guys who moved behind us in the 7th inning.  Enjoy.

  • “You’re an idiot!  That’s why you’re hitting .213!” – after Hill popped to second in the 7th
  • “Way to go Cito!” – after Shawn Camp allowed  HR to Lowell in the 8th
  • “Why is Fernandez on the wall?  He was the weakest Jay.” – Tony is Toronto’s all-time leader in games, at bats, hits, triples, singles, and assists, holds the World Series record for most RBI by a SS, was a 5-time All Star, and won four Gold Gloves.  Yeah – he sucked.
  • “Stieb?  I thought it was Dave Steve.” – yep, these people sit in the 500’s…
  • Idiot 1: “Why isn’t Kelly Gruber on the wall of fame”  Idiot 2: “Dude, I think Gruber’s still playing.”
  • “David Wright gets too many errors.  That’s why he’s not on my fantasy team.”
  • “Wins are the worst stat because a pitcher can’t control them.  The best stat is ribbies.  Give me ribs any day of the week.”

Classic Quotes from the Upper Deck – June 18th, 2010

A few comments from the 500 Level during Toronto’s 3-2 win over the Giants on Friday night:

  • “After nine years that has never happened to me!” – 500 Level vendor (the lady who always chants “when I say Vernon, you say hit!” – also affectionately known as the Bird Lady) after walking directly into a fan carrying a large beer and having him spill it all over her.
  • “It got in my mouth!” – Bird Lady after a few drops of beer were swallowed post-collision.
  • “The Bird Lady is back and dryer than ever!!!” – friend of mine, after the re-appearance of the Bird Lady (now dry), in the 4th inning
  • “The Giants aren’t holding Molina on!  Come on Cito send him!” – great fan.  Steal Molina steal!
  • “Hey Zito – go back to your early 20’s!” – strange heckle from a drunkard in the 10th row
  • “You – you are a huge douche bag.  You smart-phone checking, back stabbing, idiot.” – drunk girl in Lone Star post-game, directed towards me for reasons unknown.  She made up to me by buying me a shot later.  Great end to the night.

As always, if you have can provide any overheard quotes from the upper deck at a Jays game, feel free to post them in the comment box below or send them to 500 Level Fan. same sites apache web server website offline . link checker .

Classic Quotes from the Upper Deck – June 6th, 2010

Here are a few great comments from the fans in the 500 Level during Toronto’s tough 4-3 loss to the Yankees on Sunday:

  • “It’s all about the sweep.  I’m gettin’ f#$%ed up!” – the Shirtless High-Fiver (see today’s 500 Level Fan of the Game) trying to get people excited.  Note: this is only a paraphrase as the high-fiver was extremely intoxicated – so blind drunk that he was speaking three languages at once.  This is what I thought I heard.
  • “We need more of you here to support our economy.” – Shirtless High-Fiver to a random guy wearing a neon-green Boston Red Sox hat.  I guess he assumed the guy was from Boston.
  • “Hey you!  Hey!  Give me a high five!  Hey!  HEY!  Are you a Yankees fan?” – Shirtless High-Fiver to a dad at the game with his young son, with his hand inches from the dad’s face.  Instead of just accepting the five, or laughing, the dad pretended the high-fiver wasn’t there and ignored him, probably scarring his son for life.  They promptly left the 500 Level.
  • “How can you expect to build a fan base with your shirts on?” – Shirtless High-Fiver to the entire 500 Level at an insanely loud volume.
  • “No.  Uh-uh.” – Shirtless High-Fiver when being asked to leave the premises by two Rogers Centre security guards and a police officer. 
  • “It’s about to get real loud in he-ahhh.” – Annoying Yankees fan wearing a Babe Ruth jersey, in an annoying New York accent, walking into section 535 in the 5th inning.  Him and his three friends then said nothing for two innings.  The only words they spoke came after Vernon Wells put the Jays ahead 2-0.  Then, one of them said:
  • “We have more titles than your whole team!” – annoying Yankees fan in a Joe DiMaggio jersey.  I guess that’s supposed to hurt our feelings.
  • “Sit down DiMaggio you a$%hole!  You’re ugly and the lady beside you is fat!” – drunk girl, one row behind me.
  • “Where’s the referee?” – different drunk girl, one row behind me.
  • “Sara!  Sara!  Get up here you snatch face!” – a third drunk girl trying to get the attention of her friend a few rows ahead of her.  Amazing.

As always, if you have can provide any overheard quotes from the upper deck at a Jays game, feel free to post them in the comment box below or send them to 500 Level Fan. same sites expired domains . apache web server . link checker .

Classic Quotes from the Upper Deck – May 31st, 2010

Here are a few classic comments from the fans in the upper deck of Toronto’s 3-2 win over Tampa Bay on Monday night:

  • “It’s been a very physical game thus far.” – man to nobody in particular in Section 519, referring to game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final while listening to a walkman.  I don’t know about anybody else, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves.  If you want to watch/listen to/follow along with the hockey game so badly, why in the hell would you come to the Blue Jays game?  He wasn’t paying attention to the game at all, but just sat there transfixed by his yellow Sony walkman with 1988 headphones.  Why bother?
  • “Mmmm…” – same hockey follower after pulling out a processed cheese and Wonderbread sandwich from a Blue Jays souvenir shop plastic bag.  Really, really, really gross….
  • “They should score that umpire’s assistance!  Not a hit!  COME ON!!!” – Bobby (see FLF of the game), after Sean Rodriguez broke up Brandon Morrow’s no-hitter with an infield single.
  • “F#$% you Overbay!  You’re playing F#$%ing kids ball you moron!” – Pingu (see FLF of the game), after Overbay grounded out to second in the 8th.
  • “You’re dead now Overbay!  You’re in deep trouble!  I’m gonna be on your ass the rest of the season!” – Pingu, minutes later.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was absolutely no chance that Overbay would ever be able to hear his heckles from section 519. 

As always, if you have can provide any overheard quotes from the upper deck at a Jays game, feel free to post them in the comment box below or send them to 500 Level Fan.

I received this link from our friend at “1 Blue Jays Way” about a 500 level experience a few years back. same sites expired domains . expiration of domains . apache web server website offline link checker

Classic Quotes from the Upper Deck – May 14th, 2010

Here are a few overhead gems from Friday nights Blue Jays 16-10 victory over the Texas Rangers:

  • “One ticket for the NON-ALCOHOL SECTION” – 55+ year old man, pre-game, while looking angrily at the young drunkards around him
  • “Does Toronto have any Cubans?” – idiot in Section 519, Row 1
  • “I don’t really like baseball.  I’m not even a fan.  I just like to boo. BOO!” – idiot in Section 519, Row 1
  • “We don’t need the Addams Family!  We need a 3-run home run!” – Acien, a very drunk man in Row 1, during a Travis Snider at bat in the bottom of the 3rd while the Addams family theme song was playing between pitches.  Next pitch? 3-run home run
  • “We’ve gotta be back there, where the tattooed broads are!” – Acien, 30 seconds later, basking in the glory of his called Snider home run

As always, if you have can provide any overheard quotes from the upper deck at a Jays game, feel free to post them in the comment box below or send them to 500 Level Fan. same sites expired domains . expiration of domains . web archive . apache web server . website offline . link checker .